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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'm so sorry. As someone from a family full of addicts who struggles with my own addictive tendencies, I know it can be triggered by any small window where there is an opportunity for temporary autonomy. This was especially intense during the years of having small kids and a full time job. It's like I'm finally alone for a tiny bit of time, I get to choose what to do, I deserve this one thing just for ME to help me cope. It feels like I'm on the one hand in complete control to finally, finally choose what I really want to do and on the other also completely powerless to NOT choose it, if that makes sense. It's a total rush followed by shame and self-hatred. Just hoping to give some insight on what your husband may be feeling. You sound like you want to approach it with empathy and concern but also a hard line, which sounds about right. Set and hold your boundaries early on, have a support system in place (Al Anon is the most common and accessible, though not a fit for everyone), be willing to help him find resources but don't do the work for him. If he's on a work trip now it's a good time to put things in place. Good luck. [/quote]

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