Reply to Why Men Cheat - How Can I Break This Cycle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Novelty and youth really do have an impact on sex drive. I think it's a mistake for people to pretend otherwise. [/quote]

Bingo.

It's like a new vs used car. You have to put a lot of maintenance into it just to keep it running ok.

There is no replacement for novelty. That's why men are surprised that more effort still leads to less sex. Duh. You aren't new to her anymore. Not your fault. Ok, not always your fault but sometimes it is. [/quote]

Not for everyone. Some people chase novelty but after a while it turns out it’s just as boring.

Some prefer intimacy and being in love. You can still feel that way after over a decade if you have a real connection.

Don’t confuse novelty itself for the projection that happens when you don’t know someone well.[b] If you really know someone and feel known by them it can keep getting better.[/quote][/b]

Exactly! This is what happens when you stick with a marriage even through bad spots. The marriage becomes stronger and deeper. 
[/quote]

A lot of people don't seem to be wired to be able to do this. I didn't understand this growing up but now I understand it's their internal wiring. [/quote]

Or maybe they just don’t have support in their lives for sticking with a marriage through the bad spots. Or maybe everything has always been easy for them in their relationships and they think that’s the way it’s supposed to be, so if things are difficult, it must be they don’t belong together. Or maybe they’re just lazy.

Of course, some marriages really should end up with divorce. No one should put up with abuse or cheating or addictions. But many, many marriages end because people just weren’t willing to slog through those difficult times and get to the good stuff on the other side. And it’s sad when people realize years later that they could have had a good marriage if only they’d been willing to work through those bad times with their spouses. 
[/quote]

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