Reply to Almost done with freshman year! And lessons learned.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. Helicopter parent alert. [/quote]

+1 I feel so embarrassed for parents like this.[/quote]

Please don't be embarrased for my - I promise you I am not. I would kindly ask you to STFU and get off your judgmental and self important high horse

I think parents like you are naive or can be borderline neglectful. There is a happy medium you know? Just because you want to help your 17/18 year old with some advice and guidance to successfully navigate one of the biggest changes to their lives to set themselves up for success does NOT mean you are helicoptering. It means your a decent parent. No one is saying make the calls for them, or help them with their school work. Its about helping them stay relatively health, safe, and on track.

I find people like you who throw out the helicoptering thing any time a parent is actually interested and supportive of their kids ridiculous. I am not a helicopter parent. I believe in giving kids the freedom to fail - when it's not fatal. I don't plan on helicoptering my college student, but I do plan on helping them figure out how to get healthcare for themselves if they get sick and need it (did your college freshman handle ALL of their healthcare needs and insurance as a teenager before they left for college? :roll: ). Or how to make my life easier by having a plan in place if I need to quickly send money, or ya know, inquire as to what kind of plan they have to map out classes so I'm not paying for 5+ years of college.

Okay - I feel better getting that off my chest. LOL. Flame away!

[/quote]

NP here. You're just not doing yourself any favors with this defense. You are doing too much for your college freshmen. They should have figured out their own housing and registered for their own classes. They obviously have advisors and it's their job to go to them--not their mommy--if they are unsure. My college freshman, with severe ADHD and executive function deficit, did all this himself. [b]The night he woke up with acute apendicitis, he got himself to the hospical, and didn't call me until the morning--about 7 hours later to say, [/b]basically, "they seem to feel pretty strongly I should have it removed, I feel like I just wanted to check with you and dad to make sure that's the right thing to do before I consent to it," Two weeks later got himself to his post-surgical follow-up appointment. And you are concerned that your kids won't know what to do if they have a cold. So yes, the whole premise of the thread is flameworthy--sorry. I do think I may show it to my kids, who complain that I am too hands on. If only they knew.[/quote]

I think you need to take a moment and really think about that. He was trying to figure out his own health care in a new place while in serious pain and he didn't even think to call you bc why? He must have figured you weren't going to be much help or sympathy or that you would look down on him for asking for help.  It's pretty bad that he didn't even feel the need to ask for help from his own parents in this situation and sadly since you are trying to brag about this, it's clear you don't recognize this isn't a good situation. Also be careful about bringing op this situation IRL. I know you think it is a bragging point but no people won't see it that way and will just think less of you as a person.  [/quote]

Nope. You have it all wrong. The kid just came home for a long weekend just because he wanted to. Because he loves his family and knows where to find comfort. I asked him why he didn't call me at 3 am when he was in pain, and he said, "well, it was really bad and I knew the most important thing was to get to the hospital. And, it's not like you can remove an appendix." Anyone who knows me, my kid, and our family, knows how cool and capable, and loved, he is. I know you believe it has to be one way or the other. That either they are independent with cold, unfeeling parents (by the way, my husband's parents raised him that way), or else they have to be smothered to feel loved. The most loving gift I gave to my kid was to raise him to be independent and confident. And smart enough to know that your mommy three hours away can't help you if your appendix is about to burst. God help your kids.[/quote]

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