Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here’s another version: is it OK to invite adult friends (like colleague/friends or people I know from volunteering) to the service and the kiddush luncheon, but not the nighttime party, which is kids, relatives and a few longtime friends from out of town? Or is that rude?[/quote]

It's rude to invite them at all. It's rude to the child - this is THEIR event. You should invite people who have supported them through their religious journey. Not your random acquaintances from work and volunteering - that will seem like you just want gifts from them.  [/quote]

Not Jewish but a friend family friend did this recently and it was perfectly fine. They had some coworkers who came to the service and lunch and the party afterwards which was actually at kids' venue was kids' only plus a few aunts and uncles and those types of close relations and those aunts and uncles probably had kids. Our friend got a lot of support from the coworkers and they had given her advice while their child was younger. I don't think it's rude at all.[/quote]

We are a couple years away from our kids Bar Mitzvah but this is what we are planning. I have a few close work friends who are Jewish who I plan to invite to the service/lunch. We don't have a big family so evening party will be 95 percent kids if we have one at all. We may do a bonus vacation instead. [/quote]

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