Reply to “The Harsh Reality of Gentle Parenting”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree with those saying the article is talking more about permissive parenting.

Gentle but authoritative approach has done wonders for me. I am extremely firm with my 3yo because she needs it, but I’m grateful to have learned to do it in a way that is healthy and builds connection. I have a demanding job and the last thing I want to do in my time with my kid is be in constant power struggle, conflict, making threats and punishments, etc. So this has been a great framework.

I also feel like it has shifted the way I manage people at work too - I place a little more emphasis on seeing where people are coming from now.[/quote]

+1 to the idea that learning to be empathetic while also setting firm boundaries and being willing to say "no" has been a revelation both as a parent and as a person in the world. It's helped me at work too, but I've really seen a shift in my friendships. I used to be a doormat. Becoming a parent has helped me learn to set clearer boundaries with friends and not feel guilt that they might get mad. Because I set good and important boundaries with my kid all the time and yes, sometimes they make her mad at first. That doesn't mean they are wrong. And of course that logic applies to other adults.

I've gotten really good at telling people that while I understand where they are coming from and want them to be happy, it can't come at the expense of my own well-being. One of the best life lessons I've ever gotten. Happy to be teaching it to my kid at a young age (my own mom was a doormat/martyr and I think she modeled a lot of unhealthy behavior for me).[/quote]

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