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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All the boys vs girls commenters drive me crazy as a parent of a girl who was so very much like op's child at that age.

[b]OP, just a hunch here, have you noticed how your child responds to sensory stimuli? Do they seek out noise or avoid it? Do they like wrestling and firm hugs or prefer a lighter touch? With food, can you tell if it's the texture or the flavor that makes something unappealing? 
[/b]
Behavior is communication. It's hard, but if you can, try to pretend you're a scientist studying your child's reactions. They are not personal, even though it feels profoundly personal in the moment. [/quote]

Not the OP but interested in this. I suspect my difficult four-year-old has some sensory issues--relatively mild because she functions fine in daycare. But she's highly temperamental, prone to meltdowns at home, and just...challenging. So challenging. Anyway, your bolded question caught my eye because I have noticed some sensory things: For example, she is extremely averse to "scary" loud noises/things, like lawnmowers. Lawnmowers are a big problem. Self-flushing toilets are an issue when we're out, and automatic hand-dryers are out of the question. But she also does some sensory-seeking things, like scratching or running her nails over various surfaces (walls, counters, upholstery), knocking/banging, and her favorite thing is dramatically smashing something her older sister has meticulously built, like a LEGO construction or art project or the like. She definitely plays rough.

But since you asked the OP, I'm curious about what that indicates, especially when (in my case) she seems to be able to keep it generally under control in her classroom setting? She probably does engage in some of these behaviors there too, but not to a degree that her teachers have ever said anything, even when I've asked.

And OP...hugs to you. I had the exact same thought as your subject line this morning. It was a rough morning. It feels like a very long and sometimes regrettable road. 
[/quote]

I'm the pp. Op's post and your post remind me of my DD at a younger age. Now in middle school she has an ADHD diagnosis following a neuropsych eval at age 8. In preschool one of her teachers flagged her for sensory integration difficulties, predominantly sensory seeking. Wearing a pressure vest helped a lot, plus OT. Still loves tight hugs and needs lots of exercise, especially "heavy work " I should look into that weighted blanket. I think we got lucky that an experienced teacher noticed, because others didn't see difficulties.

Those flushing toilets. Man, I was ready to go vigilante and disable all the auto flushers. Thankfully that extreme noise sensitivity wore off years ago and public bathrooms are no longer a problem, but it felt like trauma every time.

This book was illuminating: https://hsperson.com/is-your-child-highly-sensitive-results/
Following the ADHD diagnosis, parent management training has helped all the adults in the house be on the same page regarding discipline and finding strategies that work, since the regular old standbys often fall short. We used Allan Kazdin's method in book form, but I saw recently he also has a free online course that I might try again for a refresher: https://alankazdin.com/everyday-parenting-the-abcs-of-child-rearing/ Even for more typically developing kids, Kazdin's method works well.

DD's an amazing wonderful hilarious sensitive kind curious highly intelligent kid. But never easy. Just has needed so much MORE of everything than all the cousins in the extended family and my friends' kids who didn't need enormous efforts just to get more than 30 minutes sleep at a time.

I wouldn't trade her for the world. She's the most interesting kid I know. But some days are tough. Give yourself grace. Treat yourself like you would a friend.[/quote]

Oh my goodness I thought I wrote this except my DD was diagnosed at 6. Agree completely my sensitive DD is fascinating and wonderful even if she is also just trickier. I have a more typical child too and its fascinating how so many different approaches work fine for him but my DD needs very specific management. But there’s a strategy for every child, some are just harder to figure out than others and harder to implement too. It’s made me a kinder better parent to both my kids from having to go through this.[/quote]

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