Reply to Do you feel comfortable approaching your parents for help with large expenses?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents paid for our wedding, gave us money for 2 down payments and help pay some of my kids' private school tuition every year.  They also have set up significant 529 for my kids.  I would not approach them for large purchases but mostly because we can afford our own expenses.  They would gladly help us more but I would feel awkward asking.  My ILs have not given us any help despite having the means.  [/quote]

Can you not afford those things?[/quote]

I will never understand aging parents who enable their grown adult children.

[/quote]

When the parents are wealthy, it is not viewed as enabling.  It is viewed as a gift; an early inheritance.  I completely understanding those whose parents are not wealthy turning their nose up at this, but it really a very different scenario when your parents have cash that will absolutely come your way when they die.  They want to share it while they are alive, so they get to experience the benefit their gifts provide. We are financially successful (million $ homes, millions in retirement) but in the instances where my parents gave us a loan or a large gift, it was so they could share in the outcome of what they were providing.[/quote]

It's also viewed as wise stewardship of money. My parents, through their lifetime exclusions/gifts and trusts and large insurance policies on each heir and principal, ensure that as little estate taxes are paid as possible. I support that, and the wisdom behind not wanting the Government to double dip on their success. I should note that my family is a big believer in charity, they make living donor pledges in the millions and 25% of their estate will go to charity. Annual gifts to the adult children always come with the request (but not requirement) that 10% is donated to charity. I take this personally and pledge 25% of what I get annually in gifting, to charity. I make enough to support myself (375K solo parent) so the gifts just go right into my estate for my children as they grow, I live on what I earn. [/quote]

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