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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Aspergers, fighting and contemplating divorce"
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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, married 37 years and I'm fixing up the house to sell. Both of us will divide the proceeds and find separate living accommodations. Our only child is grown and moved away. We are both older and retired. I just can't take all the meltdowns and anger anymore. He hits me, screams in my ears, calls me horrible names and tells me hes going to kill me. I feel emotionally drained from the bickering. I am very hurt and feel used by the treatment I have endured for all these years, so I live with ongoing resentment and lonliness I would tell anyone to do yourself a big favor and divorce or at least separate while you are young. Don't wait until age 65. A few days after our wedding, he announced to me that he doesn't want to be married but we won't tell anyone and it will be our little secret. He said people would be very disappointed in him and he didn't want to look like a loser. So, he stayed at the bar every night after work. He waited until I was in bed to avoid me. This went on for 30 years without any sex, affection or intimacy. When i needed a hug, he would shove me to the ground. He was always financially generous with me and said he felt guilty he could never give me what I needed. Recently he admitted he never loved or even liked me and couldn't find anything to respect me for. Today, he says he thinks he loves me but he's not entirely sure. I am slowly backing off from needing him. Don't expect these men to behave in a rational way. They have very bad short term memory problems and it seems like gaslighting but it's not. He follows under age teen girls through the store and he looks like a pervert. When i ask him to stop he calls me a liar. Im a retired school teacher who taught special education and loved my job. But its entirely different having to deal with a grown adult who wont try meds or therapy. He feels any authority figure are just a waste of time.There are just too many problems and it's never too late even at 65, I'm determined to live my final years of old age in peace and quiet. Finally, I will be giving myself a gift instead of always worrying if other people are happy. Take it from me, these men DO NOT change. There will never be any reciprocal conversation or empathy from them. The meltdowns will NEVER go away. They will NEVER care about your opinion or have any interest in your life as a person. They get worse as They age and they no longer mask![/quote]
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