Reply to Boyfriend Asked For A Break

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing. 
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.[/quote]

Did you read the OP? You sound delusional.  She lied to him.  He found it and said he wanted a break.  Some people value honesty and trust in a relationship.  He doesn’t want to get burned by her farther down the road.  He’s smart, and she is definitely not a victim in this situation.[/quote]

DP.  If OP felt the need to lie about something that wasn’t wrong in the first place (since they weren’t exclusive) that suggests to me that on some level, OP knows she can’t trust this guy to react rationally and reasonably to something like that.  If you’re so controlling, judgmental and retaliatory that people feel like they need to hide innocuous stuff to avoid upsetting you, then you’re the problem.[/quote]

What kind of twisted logic is this?

She slept with her ex and on the very same day asked the bf to exclusive. That just screams sincere, loyal, dedicated, stable, balanced trustworthy partner. She felt the need to lie because she knows her behavior was sketchy.[/quote]

He put her in a lousy position by asking the question.  They were not exclusive so if she had slept with someone, it shouldn’t have been an issue.  [b]But he asked about it because for him, it would have been an issue if she’d slept with someone else while they were not exclusive. That screams controlling. [b][/quote]

DP. To me, it's a simple, fair question to ask someone you're dating and, by her own omission, OP decided to lie about it assuming he'd be upset by the truth. To me this shows why honesty is truly the best policy, even if it means we may lose someone in the moment. OP's actions in this scenario were guided by fear, which he probably smelled, which may be why he snooped. (I'm PP who suggested he was lying about something himself...) Still, I think what OP did is forgivable. [/quote]

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