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Reply to "When you have no local family and no village"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd buck up. Americans are so weak. Your husband was bed-ridden. Not even hospitalized. Meanwhile you want a meal-train and someone else to watch your kids? Use your income, the one that pays for private school, to hire a babysitter.[/quote] This. Seriously just hire a babysitter. Stop trying to get other women to provide you with unpaid labor. I’m personally glad there is no expectation on me to watch neighborhood kids for free. I earn an income and can hire someone if I need help. Stop trying to exploit women. [/quote] Why are you discounting men? One of the best members of our “village” is a man - dependable, helpful, caring. We help him out and he helps us too.[/quote] Because most of the “village” expectations are on women. Most men are working outside of the home and not home to provide childcare. Most men don’t even take leave for the birth of their own kids….you think the average man is going to step up for someone else’s family? It’s disingenuous to act as though caregiving and village expectations are also on men. [/quote] Building a village isn’t just about child caregiving and isn’t just about traditionally female associated tasks. It’s about meal trains (my husband is the one that cooks for ours!), and neighborliness like helping with a tree that fell in the yard or picking up the mail if you had to leave town unexpectedly or driving out to you when you need someone to help jump start your car. Building a village involves a community of helpers and friendship and that includes both sexes for a lot of us. [/quote] Yeah no. A village = women providing their labor. Men helping organize meal trains? C’mon. Most men don’t even take off more than a week or two for the birth or their own child. Men aren’t organizing meal trains. [/quote] What are you talking about? Many men I know are just as helpful as women. They help carpool kids around to school or activities. They help keep an eye on kids that aren't theirs at the park, sporting events, backyards, etc. They volunteer their time in school, clubs, activities, etc. Where are all these useless unhelpful men you know? [/quote] That’s not what OP is looking for and not what we are talking about. Yes, many men are involved in their own child’s life and extracurriculars. We are talking about stepping up with free childcare, meal trains etc. Not Saturday soccer games. [/quote] That's not what I'm talking about either, noticed how I listed many many other things? And this isn't for their own child either. Other dads literally drive my kids around when needed and also watch them and I also return the favor. This isn't 1950 anymore and many dads are very involved in every aspect of raising their children.[/quote] You’re the one narrowly defining a village as childcare. I see it as much more expansive than that.[/quote] I'm providing just a few examples to your sweeping generalizations that men do nothing. Speak for yourself and the type of loser you married.[/quote] Actually I agree with you about the importance of men and just responded to the wrong person. :-). [/quote]
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