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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not in your situation exactly because although we don't live near any family, we've created a robust village, but I do have three suggestions for you if I may.

[b]For whatever reason, you have not connected with people despite living there ten years. In some way, your personality or your lifestyle or SOMETHING makes people not feel close to you. [/b]So what I suggest, is hire a part time after school nanny who will facilitate friendships. Nannies are friends with each other and they get "their" kids together.

My other suggestion is, check your communication. Make sure you're asking for what you need. If you're just like "Yeah Phil is sick and I have a huge presentation tomorrow and my kids are bouncing off the walls" you're not saying you need help. If you said that to me I'd just be like "yeah being a busy working mom is hard and chaotic." But if you posted on Facebook "So, Phil has been sick in bed over a week and I've been working until past midnight each night and don't even have time to go food shopping - can anyone help by dropping off some things tomorrow?," then someone could say "Hey I'm going food shopping tomorrow - text me the top ten things you need and I'll send my husband to drop them off tomorrow night."

Lastly, throw money at the problem. Hire someone to watch the kids for two hours a day, hire a cleaning person twice a month, etc. [/quote]

I’m sorry but I do have to agree with this.  For whatever reason, the connections that you have made in your community appear to be only skin deep, and this is something to evaluate.  Have you been the kind of friend you are looking to have?  And are they really the type of friends you are hoping to have?  Expand your network.  Host a neighborhood block party, join a local charitable organization.  It’s going to take an investment if you want to get that sort of quality connection back.

And yes, you’re going to have to hire help if you don’t have that network.[/quote]

I disagree. I’m similar to OP and have lived in my area for over 10 years also. The DC area makes it particularly hard to make lasting connections. We have made several friends over the years and most of them have ended up moving away. I don’t have time between working, household chores, child activities to go out and seek lots of new friendships. Also most of the families we do know have 2 working parents and don’t have a lot of extra time.
As for religious organizations, that only works if the family is religious. I can’t pretend to believe in something just to help build a community for myself. [/quote]

And yet, many people in the DC area do have these connections.  [b]If you don’t have the time to invest, then don’t expect to get it back.[/b]

Again, you’re going to have to hire help if you don’t have that network.[/quote]

This. OP - when was the last time you helped someone in a situation like yours?  We don't have relatives in DC, but have developed a strong and close network of friends (all in the same boat with no local family).  I've made more meals, babysit their kids, been there for health crises, etc for these friends and I know that they will be there for me in a heartbeat if I ask for help.  You have to give to receive & build that safety net.[/quote]

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