Reply to Men do you care if your wives are average looking after babies and many years of marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I care way more about how much sex we are having and how enthusiastic she is. Would much rather be doing it frequently and enthusiastically with a heavier wife than one who is thin but had no interest[/quote]

Is this really true for most men?  I have gained about 30 lbs since we were married 15 years ago.  We have four kids, but the youngest is in second grade, so it’s hard to call it baby weight. 
I have always been pretty enthusiastic about sex, and sex with my husband specifically.  Lately though, I have been feeling like he would prefer that I put that energy into losing the weight rather than our love life.  [/quote]

30 pounds is a lot. I have also been married 15 years and my youngest is 5. I have gained 10. I was up 15-20 during Covid and back down to 10 over pre kid weight. I’m putting effort into losing it but isn’t really going anywhere. I may just have to accept that at age 44 I am 10 pounds heavier than at age 29.[/quote]

It is a lot, but I’ve never been obsessive about my weight at all.  And I’m just finding it hard to care about losing it.  I feel like I’m 40 now, not 25.  So what if I’m a size 12 instead of a size 8?[/quote]

It depends on the relationship. I care a lot about 10lbs of weight gain, and my husband would definitely care about 30lbs of weight gain. If your husband does not care, and you don't care, it does not seem like a problem at all. [/quote]

He does care.  
I was just asking if most men care or if he is in the minority.

I’m not unhealthy or anything.  It’s purely an aesthetic thing.  [/quote]

Did you get your answer?  [/quote]

No.  Not really.  
Some men said they would prefer sex, but that seemed hypothetical. 
I don’t personally think that a good sex life and weight loss go hand in hand.  There has to be a certain dissatisfaction with your body to lose weight that has a psychological effect on weight loss.  And then fat produces estrogen, so there is a physiological effect as well.  Plus it has played out again and again during times of famine that fertility and birth rates decrease significantly.  I just don’t think that weight loss and sex go together.

[b]My husband has said that he would prefer the weight loss.  I don’t know if other men * whose wives have actually gained weight * feel the same.[/b]  [/quote]

Man here, if I were to give a very accurate guess, if we are talking 10-20 pounds (a dress size or 2), most men would rather have regular and enthusiastic sex with a heavier wife than infrequent sex with someone thinner. Of course there are exceptions and you are married to one.

Also, as women age (45 and older) I think they look better with a couple extra pounds. Very thin can make you look older, the natural collagen helps.[/quote]

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