Reply to In an affair, who "wins"? The wife or the mistress?

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Reply to "In an affair, who "wins"? The wife or the mistress?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a wife and have never been a mistress but in my younger days I did have a few female friends who dated married men.  One of them wanted the MM to leave his wife for her.  It DID come off as a competition to me.  She seemed to want to "win" and it seemed to be a "pick me" thing more than it was about the actual guy.  Several of us were blunt with her and said things to the effect of "you'd be winning someone willing to cheat on the person he'd made a commitment to."  Nothing we said mattered, she was in deep.  He strung her along for months, his wife found out, he never left his wife and my friend was crushed.  I don't understand the competition aspect but I can tell you that it exists and from what I saw, NO ONE wins![/quote]

And the absolute crazy thing about this (which is almost always universally the case)---the wife does NOT EVEN know she is in the competition!  You have one woman doing absolutely everything with a leg up and all the info on the wife and the husband that is positioning herself in the best possible light 24/7 when she is with him---and even then...

it's pathetic.[/quote]

Yes!  The mistress is all about sex and ego boosting.  She doesn't have to deal with bills and chores and kids.  I'm amazed that anyone thinks a cheating husband is a prize to be won![/quote]

It's pathetic when they spend 100% of their time being the best at every position, give him anything he wants, be dressed to the nines any time they see him...and they can't seal the deal competing against a woman that is real and doesn't even turn it on or have time to bring her best look, energy 24/7.  That should hit the ow self-esteem real good.[/quote]

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