Reply to 40-year-old man in a 1BR condo

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  To clarify, I’m not divorced and have never been married.  I wouldn’t describe myself as commitment-phobic; I just had some financial goals that I wanted to meet before getting bogged down in a relationship.  Now that I have done that, I am definitely open to committed, long-term relationships, so I’m not leading anyone on.  The couple of casual relationships I’ve had have been fun too.

[b]While I’m not opposed to a long-term relationship, I think it’s very unlikely that I would want to cohabitate and almost certain that I would not want to marry.  I just value my space and my privacy too much.[/b]

Lastly, I’m not sure why everyone is making it seem like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. are no big deal.  Isn’t this the same DCUM where everyone is stressed out and complaining about housework and all the “mental loads?“ (Granted, I don’t have kids but the other tasks are not insignificant.)  Other than some work issues, I have zero stress in my life, and I love it that way.[/quote]

The bottom line is you like the way your life is now and have zero interest in changing it to be in a LTR.  I’m a firm believer that there is a match for everyone.  Don’t lead people on and look for the person that also likes the way their life is now and would not want to change it to be in a LTR.  It’s only an issue if people want different things out of the relationship.

If I were divorced and had kids in the house, I don’t know that I would want to remarry and would be busy with my kids at least 50% of the time.  The 40 year old guy in the 1 BR condo that eats dinner with his parents 3 nights a week and takeout the other 4 wouldn’t really matter because I am not trying to marry or co-habitate. Now if I wanted a relationship where we eventually live together, this would be a neon sign that we don’t want the same things.  I’m not sure that I would want to live on takeout, always be at your parents house or become the defacto cook. And before you say that DCUM is going after your because you like to see your family all the time for dinner, there was a post years ago with a woman that wanted to see her family all the time, and her serious significant other didn’t want to always go and resented that they didn’t have their own time.  The general consensus was that she needed to negotiate something they could both live with or find someone that also wanted to see their own family three times a week or always wanted that type of setup.[/quote]

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