Reply to How Involved Is Your Husband With Parenting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I guess that you are just a superior human to myself . [/quote]

It is true that I am very superior. But this has nothing to do with my ability to schedule ordinary everyday stuff without getting “emotionally exhausted”. This is a mundane ability that every normal person should have. I don’t even know how you can do your day job without being able to schedule tasks and not fall apart emotionally.

So far the specific examples of emotional exhaustion have related to very sick kids. Fair enough. But there are many more general complaints along the lines of “I do everything and my husband does nothing” and I still don’t understand why this should be so emotionally exhausting.

[quote]You never should have divorced her, IMO. She sounds perfect for you. She lets you do everything and feel perfect all of the time. She probably took all of the blame for everything that went wrong in your marriage too. I’m guessing that this is part of the reason she doesn’t get to see your children. [/quote]

Rest assured that I did not and do not “feel perfect” because I do everything. I don’t have any feelings at all about it - that’s why I don’t get “emotionally exhausted” and don’t understand those who do. I see what needs to be done, I do it. No reason to pat yourself on the back for having a basic life skill.

Also rest assured that as she is a woman, she attributes 100% of the marriage failure to me and none to herself. I know what I did wrong, and I regret it.

She does see the children. I get the strong feeling that her custody time is “everyone sits there poking at their screens”. Nothing I can do about it, though, other than make sure I actively engage with the kids when they’re with me.[/quote]

I didn’t say that I was falling apart, only that I have emotions about my kids, and it can be exhausting not to have a spouse to share them with.  Sometimes those feelings are feelings of joy or excitement or surprise.

I work as sn ER doc, and I experience emotions at work as well, but I generally set them aside.  You’re right that I couldn’t handle it if I felt every emotion that the situation called for.

I don’t know why you are acting like you are in the ER and have to set emotion aside during the every day lives of your children.  The only emotions you seem to experience are anger at your ex-wife and some vague guilt about the divorce.  Maybe your fear of being exhausted or being seen as weak is an issue?  
You should try being a little more vulnerable with your kids.  Yes.  It is exhausting.  But kids are worth it.

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