Reply to How Involved Is Your Husband With Parenting?

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s a long story, but when my kids were born, my dh was super hands on and involved. He literally could not have done much more for them. Over the years, he pulled back more and more. By the time the kids were out of the early elementary grades, dh provided all the financial support and I did all other aspects of parenting. I tried very hard, but couldn’t get him more involved.

The kids are in middle school now. He moved out 1 1/2 years ago. The kids have never spent a single night at his apartment. He moved his girlfriend in with him sometime last summer without telling me or the kids. The kids are still living in the marital home with me. He got a bed for one kid a couple months ago, but not for the other because the other wasn’t supportive of his relationship with his much younger girlfriend.  He comes over and has dinner with the kids one night per week. I have told him many times that he’s welcome to see the kids anytime he wants. Occasionally he comes over for something else. He rarely calls or texts the kids. He is more involved in parenting now than he has been the last few years because he now drives one kid to school in the morning.  He doesn’t know how to relate to the kids now that they’re older. He really only knows how to roughhouse with them. Only one kid has met his girlfriend.

I post this to say that parenting is a marathon and not a sprint. One’s level of hands on childcare in the first couple months of their baby’s life does not indicate what kind of parent they will be.
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