Reply to Pediatrician + Family/Friend Making Comments About My Choice Not To Breastfeed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean I would never ask invasive questions like that but yeah I consider it a real failure for a new mom to just refuse to try to breastfeed. Like why have kids if you can't even do this basic thing for them?[/quote]

It’s not at all PC to say this, but I agree. Barring some major issues, at least try. Though, perhaps you could argue that many of those unwilling to try have major issues (eg narcissism) in which case, it makes sense.[/quote]

+1. I think people are reacting to the fact that your reasons for not wanting to even try are all about you and kind of selfish and not really in the best interest of your baby. Fine if it doesn’t work out, but it’s jarring to see a brand new mother deny her tiny newborn baby health benefits because she’s afraid of a little discomfort she may not even actually experience. Like, lesson number one of motherhood is worrying about another human sometimes more than yourself. OP hasn’t gotten the memo yet. [/quote]

I think this is true. OP didn’t try breastfeeding because her sensitive nipples need to be reserved for DH and sex play? That’s a weird reason not to even try if I have ever heard it and of course people will judge for that. Plenty of people have sensitive nipples - I would argue most everyone does. OP is not unique in that her nipples are sensitive or that before kids her nipples were used for foreplay and intimacy with her partner.

Parenthood is full of all sorts of bodily sacrifice from getting pooped/puked/peed on to being exhausted from carrying/lifting/rocking/holding/bathing/feeding kids and I’m not even talking about the permanent bodily changes from pregnancy, birth and nursing. Having a temporary time where you use your breasts for what they are biologically intended for - feeding a baby - is a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of life. Not everyone wants to do it and that’s fine, but I will say I think you are being selfish not to even try.[/quote]

OP here. This has nothing to do with it being sexual. I said I have sensitive nipples that get chaffed easily and feel bruised and that if it hurts after normal daily activities or sexual pleasure, it will definitely hurt much worse when breastfeeding a baby who eats every 2-3 hours for at least the first 4 months. I chose not to breastfeed because I know it will painful on top of my issues with sensitive nipples. I did hand express to give him colostrum which is the most important thing he gets. It’s better that I’m a happy and my baby has a mom who doesn’t dread feeding him or being in pain 24/7. My husband can feed during the night so I’m more well rested and have the energy to take care of my baby. He is happy and healthy and growing on formula. The studies I’ve read and some doctors I talked to say breast milk benefits are overstated and it’s had minimal benefits. I’m happy with my decision not to breastfeed because that means a happy mom for my son.[/quote]

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