Reply to Pediatrician + Family/Friend Making Comments About My Choice Not To Breastfeed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP [b]I inquire because I dont want to waste my money sending items for a nursing mother vs a formula feeding mom[/b]. I send nursing moms items that were helpful for me when I was nursing plus stuff for a new mom that focuses on her. Nursing stuff would be things like hydrating drinks or LIQUID IV sticks, one-handed snacks, etc. Regardless of nursing status, I will send a mask for daytime sleeping, some undereye patches, chapstick, usually dinner sent one night or gift cards for ubereats, etc.

If its a close friend of mine I already know. If its a wife of one of my DHs friends then I might ask. [b]And yes if I know they had their first csection I might get them an extra caddy for diapers or a cute pillow with a note saying "use for coughing or laughing". [/b]

Its not malevolent. And yes your ped will prob ask a few more times because 1. they likely dont remember your previous answer and 2. didnt review the chart closely enough regarding that specific issue[/quote]

This is insane.  And totally out of bounds unless you are close with the person to whom you are sending the gifts.  "I don't want to waste my money" so therefore you ask personal questions and make assumptions about what people need?  [/quote]

You are one of those people who want a village but only on your terms. I clearly said if its a woman I am close to I already know. If its a wife of one of my DHs I might ask HIM if he knows. Believe it or not, most people are not weird about whether mom had a csection or not- have you seen the pictures of women in the operating room. Guess what- they post them! 
I send gifts for mom because she is important. I traditionally send gift for a baby during a baby shower.

Sending nursing related gifts to someone struggling with nursing would be rude. I dont send specific gifts unless I know they are breastfeeding but I always drop off snacks and TLC products. The extra caddy is because a lot of moms dont anticipate a c-section and you arent supposed to navigate stairs frequently. Its got a gift receipt. No one told me about how it would hurt to cough or laugh and so I think that is a helpful gift. If you only want help for what you know already then I expect YOU to take care of it. I dont except to read your mind about what you need.  :roll: and apparently I am not allowed to ask. [/quote]

Off topic: but I breastfed and a mom from one of my support groups (so not someone I knew super well) whose child was a few months older than mine brought me some the (excellent) lactation cookies she’d learned to make for her wife.  I was so grateful!  It doesn’t have to be weird and intrusive people.

Anyway, OP, I’m sorry people are being obnoxious about your choices.  As others have said at least this passes passes quickly — no one I know asks about breastfeeding after the first several months.[/quote]

Yep, my kids are 10 and 13 and I can't remember the last time I was asked if I breastfed. [/quote]

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