Reply to Long-term relationship after divorce going nowhere. What now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been in a relationship since my divorce with an amazing guy who commutes to Raleigh every other weekend to be with his teenage children (he has a place there). Well, the trips are centered around the weekend but they usually last 5-7 days at a time. When the kids are on school breaks they come here.

I have 50% custody of my two young children and we do our best to line up the kid weekends to align so we get the off weekends together. And that time is AMAZING. I think “how could I ever leave this guy” - we are so perfect together in so many ways. And I genuinely admire that he is such a great dad. I would never want him to stop going to Raleigh to see his kids.

But this is not what I want in a relationship. I want someone who will be present most weekends, not just every other- I am so damn lonely sometimes. It is hard being solo with my two when they go to bed by 8 and I’m stuck at home alone until I go to bed. It’s even harder when there’s a special event that means that one of us needs to shift our schedules, if we miss one of our weekends we go a four week stretch. This has been going on for almost two years now.

I am in a no win situation. My therapist suggested I start going on dates with other guys when he is gone - when I don’t have my kids, obviously, like on a Thursday night or whatever - just to see how that feels for me. I have liked zero of them. This makes me feel worse, because if I do break up with someone I love because of wanting more from a partner, and then I can’t find a single guy I even like enough to go on a second date with. that would be awful.

What do I do? I really don’t know what to do. Should I stay and have these great times along with the loneliness or do I leave in hopes of finding a second chance at a true partnership that may not exist? [/quote]

Op, you are in dilemma which is normal when you have to make difficult choices.

Second, your therapist is not a professional who is telling you to cheat if it is against your values. This would get you in more emotional trouble with yourself so please don't do that and check everything before adopting what this therapist says, [/quote]

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