Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s a sad state of affairs that we expect a couple to work 105 combined hours per week and have time to raise a kid. Work is the bigger problem here. [/quote]

OP exactly my point. The myth of the career woman is oversold. You can definitely either make it super big or have a good but not amazing career and have a good marriage.but a really good career usually works out if it’s the man. [/quote]

Not true for everyone, speak for yourself.

OP, as someone who had the career I wanted and has kids, I would encourage you to watch that Grey’s Anatomy episode where Bailey tells Mer to get a deeper bench. No matter what your child care situation is you need to build in layers of redundancy and be flexible. Treat this like a marathon, not a sprint. Otherwise you will burn out yourself and everyone around you.

Get more childcare. Figure out the division of tasks, adjusting as you go along. Understand that in five or ten years he will be broken in as a dad and adjust your expectations accordingly. I don’t know a single woman with a career who wasn’t disappointed at first with a husband’s lack of ability to do more, no matter how much he did. I don’t know a single woman who wasn’t happy to have kept her career once the kids got older. It only gets easier. You are really in the swamp when kids are too young to go to school, but this will pass in a couple short years. Once you’re more senior you can flex your hours. Keep the bigger picture in mind.[/quote]

OP: Thank you. Will do. And that’s helpful to hear.

I do flex my hours. Our daycare was closed last week due to COVID and I took on the bulk of childcare because I can flex my hours. My husband says he cannot work after 7pm because he’s too tired. I worked 8-midnight to make up for the lost time during the day. This is what’s driving me crazy. [/quote]

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