Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who think stigma is 100% bad in all cases don't understand human nature and the importance of cultural norms. Stop stigmatizing everything and see where it gets you.

It's okay for divorce when you have children to be viewed negatively. It's freakin' negative. [/quote]

The age of the kids when the divorce(s) happens/happen correlates to how the kids are able to integrate the information (about adults' relationships and their physical security) into their understanding of themselves.  A 2yo will have a different ability to understand than the 16yo.

The kids also will be impacted by who the adults in their lives then add to their lives.  For example, do the divorced parents find exact replacements for their Xs or do they find 'better' or 'worse' replacements?

An 8yo absolutely can understand that the primary adults in their life are fighting and that they (the 8yo) has a problem that needs to be addressed and resolved.

It's equally interesting to see all the responses to the person who is open about being an ACOD and having kids who now will be as well.  Many people sincerely try to improve the lives of their children.  Many people sincerely try to have better marriages than their parents did.  Some people sincerely try to replicate their childhoods and their parents' marriages.  We all have Achilles heels and blind spots that can only be identified and understood through the prism of time and reflection.

Suffering cannot be guaranteed to be prevented by staying married or getting divorced.[/quote]

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