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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Indian-Am myself so very familiar with this process. Yes it’s a very reasonable way to meet someone, yes this girls marriage has a 99% chance of working. Yet what no one hits on - most of these marriages never develop the intimacy that regular marriages already have going in. Yes we all know intimacy alone isn’t enough for a marriage - as evidenced by the 50% US divorce rate - and similar values, culture, professional attainment, money views matter greatly. But a marriage where the love is in that - of course we respect each other/love each other bc we’re spouses  - kind of polite way just isn’t fun. AT ALL. This is what many Indian Am experienced growing up - marriage as business transaction. In our homes we saw -no holding hands, hugging, real joking around or belly laughs and I can only imagine the true private moments -let’s just say it’s done after 2 kids have arrived. Even Indian Am born and raised here going into this process tend to view marriage as a transaction; if they are in that lucky 0.5% they will have true intimacy + all the business objectives met w 2 drs, million dollar starter homes etc. But 99.5% chance it’ll be a good transaction w no true true love but they’ll stay in bc well what is love anyway/doesn’t exist - guaranteed either her parents or in-laws or both feel this way.[/quote]

This. Intentions are good but it’s usually a social transaction not a loving relationship and families are often over involved if spouses grew up in India, newer generation here is more independent and private even if they love their families, they tend to maintain boundaries. Parents who live here for decades, often are more liberal and embrace western thinking.[/quote]

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