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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assisted living facilities are bad for several reasons. It's not just being around old or sick people, it's being around bad staff too. Some staff are very caring and truly wonderful caretakers but others (most) are not qualified to take care of a pet much less a human being. If you are older but still with it, it does get depressing real quick to realize that you are stuck with really sick/old people or people that don't give a crap about you. Most young people never spend much time in an ASL but if you did you would see that MOST of the hours of the day are empty and soul crushing for them.

Oh and don't think that the daily visits from the fire department and EMS taking people out of the facility regularly doesn't scare the f*ck out of them. [/quote]

People on here say it all the time.  "There's no good solution."   Most people can't afford to have 24/7 care in their own home.  It sounds like OP's mom can, but just because she is living around more youthful people, doesnt mean she will be able to make friends with them.   OP's mom is in a different stage of life than "active seniors."[/quote]

[b]Most seniors just want to be around people they know and love. They want to see their faces and hear their voices. The just want to be included--in whatever way they can be. Sure they may miss being able to participate fully but they can definitely appreciate and enjoy being included and valued. That's it. [/b]

In the US we do not value the older generations as they do in other countries. That may be changing a bit and hopefully we will find better alternatives to what is available currently.[/quote]

Ok, but OP didn't say she wanted to bring her mom to her house or another family member's house so the mom can be around people she knows and loves.   She wants her mom to live somewhere with younger seniors and make friends with them in hopse that their youthfullness will make her mom happy again.   That was OP's new idea and she came here to ask what people think of that.

[/quote]

Sorry but does anyone else just think this is an unrealistic expectation? She's 83, she's not at the stage of life where she wants to make new friends. She probably wants to see old friends and her family. At least that's how it is with my parents and inlaws.

Elderly people should age in place with people of all generations, including kids. [/quote]

I have been supporting the horror if "age in place" for too long and it can turn into the elderly person "eating her young." I am so over emergency calls, and "I'm sooooo looooonely" and expecting me to be the social life when I have kids, a job and a husband. People need to create a life for themselves and, not kill off their offspring with demands. You absolutely should make new friends at the age, it is one of the BEST things you can to do to protect your brain and keep up your mental health. They should be socializing with said friends and going on outings, not guilt tripping their kids to be at their beckon call.[/quote]

+100! OP here. This is exactly why I found her a place because not only was living at home dangerous, but she was text bombing us kids  to take her to dinner.  Not to mention the calls,  “moms fallen again!”  It was so stressful my husband would find me sobbing in the bathtub.   She even asked me to leave my husband and move in and take care of her.   I told her I love her so much but it would literally send me to an early grave.  Being around her gives me extreme anxiety because I’m so worried she’s going to fall.   She’s better now but im still getting the guilt attitude when I call.  “Hi mom, how are you?”  “I’m fine, just sitting here watching tv, same as always.”  “Gee mom, the only difference  is chain smoking when you were home.”  Then I’ll ask her who she had breakfast, lunch and dinner with and what activities she did. That’s when she starts perking up telling me the events of her day and we  start laughing.  [/quote]

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