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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op Here.

I appreciate your comments.  [b]DH doesn’t think it’s as bad as I do because he didn’t witness most of the behavior.[/b] He was on zoom calls all day when we visited FIL, and while he agrees with me that he can’t be trusted with the kids and “acts weird” with them,[b] he doesn’t think it got to be as bad as I make it out to be. [/b]

My son is not a liar, and I don’t like feeling gaslit by my husband. I showed him the comments and he called Fil and told him the trip must be shorted to a week, but he did not mention any of the accusations of abuse some of you alleged. My husband felt that the children stressed out his father who started to act out. I disagree and think his father has some sort of mental issue I have no interest in unraveling.

As a compromise, my husband agreed to take a trip with my father In law where he would have his own cabin and own space and never be around the children alone. He promised to speak up and defend my daughter if it came to it. I haven’t spoken to my father In law since our trip to his home many months ago, mostly because I’m sure I won’t be able to be super civil. We were barely speaking when I left, but were very civil and polite.

I understand he is old and depressed, but there is no need to take it out on an innocent child. Do you think I should tell my children to immediately get me if he should act like this again?  Usually they would tell me later. I don’t want to drag them into this, but I don’t want my daughter and son to think I am condoning this behavior.

ps- I was not making lunches or cleaning for him towards the end of the trip. And yes I did feel like a doormat and I did resent it. [/quote]

This, right here, is a HUGE RED FLAG. You need to solve your husband problem first. [/quote]

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