Reply to How to comfort friend after disappointing delivery?

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[quote=Anonymous]There are some really awful replies on this thread. I was your friend, OP, except no doula. It’s very traumatic to be shaved and rushed into an operating room after 48 hours of no sleep and painful labor. In my case, I had a failed epidural earlier that day and was terrified I’d feel the pain since the surgery dose took a long time to kick in, and I spent a half hour strapped down on a table shivering and gagging on my own bile while the surgeons tried to un-stuck my baby. My husband thought I was going to die.  I basically had to be sedated as soon as the baby was out. If a supposed friend told me I should forget what happened and just feel lucky since the baby was OK, I’d punch them in the face. No joke.

Eventually I made my peace with it, but it really took a completely calm and by the book planned c-section with the world’s best anesthesiologist to close the book on that chapter of my life.

You are a kind soul to try to find ways to support your friend, OP. Acknowledge that what she went through was hard and disappointing, that she did nothing wrong, that birth is dangerous and what she is feeling is valid. Lots of good advice upthread. [/quote]

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