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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a 50yo SAHM. I had a "big" career in DC that I gave up to follow DH as his career advanced. (We traded off. Did a decade in DC for my career. Then came his turn.) We moved to another state, had two kids, and then covid came. At this point, I've been home for five years. If I did go back, I would have to work up again, but at a much older age and (frankly) without the same drive. My field is not what it once was and my prospects would be dismal anyway. OTOH, DH now makes twice what we made together in DC and his next promotion will likely double that amount again. We still live on the same budget we had in DC with everything else saved for retirement.

So, I have no professional or financial reasons to work again. That said, I have been picking up small projects here and there. The intellectual stimulation has been amazing. I feel 20 years younger. I've definitely been depressed as a SAHM. I need more than wiping butts and cleaning up toys. Hoping we can get both kids vaccinated and to school this year, so that I can get back to something that's more meaningful to me.

And, btw, we consulted several attorneys about post-nups. We were told that they would be very expensive to write and effectively worthless since they are so easily tossed out during divorce cases. The best protections I have as a SAHM are the laws of the state where we live, which would give me half of everything.

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I “lean in” to my role as SAHM so that it’s not all “wiping butts and picking up toys”. I treat it like I would any profession. I subscribe to magazines about my “trade”, I train myself in different aspects of my “job”, etc. Isnt every job what you make of it? [/quote]

PP here. I'm glad you've got an approach that works for you.

As for me, I'm just not that helicopter-y about it. I try not to overthink parenting. My kids are healthy, happy, and well-balanced. They do tons and tons of independent play. They watch TV every day. Speak two languages. My youngest has been reading since two and the oldest has been doing algebra since kindergarten. 90% self taught. I give them materials (Montessori stuff, mostly, and educational TV). They do the rest. Both are officially identified gifted. I spend 5-10 hours a week prepping, which has been more than sufficient.

The rest of my week is wiping butts, picking up toys, cooking, driving to appointments, and household chores. Although some people really enjoy this stuff, I don't find the search for the perfect floor cleaner to be especially fulfilling. I still read journals in my former professional field for fun, which would likely put most other people into a boredom coma.

To each their own.

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