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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure if my MIL would describe herself as a feminist; however, she was the primary breadwinner working outside of the home while my FIL retired early and cared for the kids. She is a great MIL and DH does more than his share around the house and caring for our children. [/quote]

Same. Mine rarely cooks- lived to work (and still does- contracted back as a retiree) and was very A type and created an independent streak and strong work ethic in her kids. My DH cooks and cleans like his dad and also is the main caregiver now that my work has so much travel. I have a wonderful, capable DH (who also works full time) because of her and FIL.

The only down side- she would be horrified if I decided to quit, do nothing [b][/b]PROFESSIONALLY [b]and take care of the kids at home- she never did it so would not understand/support that- but I think I'd feel the same as a MIL.

Feminism is all about the freedom to choose what you want- but we have a friend who just did this (quit job to take care of 2 toddlers) and now they are having to move in with her inlaws to pick up the dime because they can no longer afford their home/cars/etc because she decided to quit. Didn't sound too cool to us but it's not our marriage. I made a joke about doing the same and moving in with her to take care of us and we had a belly laugh.[/quote]

PP here. Message heard loud and clearly, people. I added the one word that hopefully makes it clear. Again, I sum up an example in my last paragraph. Don't make bad decisions and live off others. If that is not you- I'm not talking to you. Carry on/do what is right for your family/etc.[/quote]

You didn’t change anything really. You still say you would be unsupportive of a daughter-in-law choosing to stay home. So clearly, your definition of feminism
means there is only really one acceptable path.[/quote]

In a consumer based economy, work identity based social world, fidelity lacking marriages and divorce trigger happiness, who can really afford to stay home any more? If someone can and is blessed with finances and fidelity, more power to them. [/quote]

All that and courage to utter the words, quite and vocal judgement and gossip starts pouring in as soon as you state your choice.[/quote]

This^. Many young women work only for social reasons, they spend more on wardrobe, daycare, cleaner, tax, car etc then they earn but feel pressured to avoid SAHM stigma. It’s tough being a young mother.[/quote]

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