Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if they hadn't said it was a gift or a treat, but just said, "We would really like to celebrate our retirement/birthday as a family?  It would mean so much if you came?"

Would you be fine with it then?  if so just try to think of it in these terms even if it isn't what they said.

You might end up loving the vacation even if it wasn't your pick originally.[/quote]

+1.

I said this in one of the earlier responses.  And it isn't to be dismissive that OP is annoyed.  It can be annoying.  But it is just well-intentioned advice on how to possibly change your mindset so that you are less annoyed...[/quote]

OP here. I agree that this is the best tact, and I will try to establish this mindset before the trip, if not sooner. I just need to vent my frustrations in order to move past them. One thing I realize is that the in-laws are framing it as a gift because they want to be able to brag to their peers about it. I guess it’s somewhat equivalent to a sweet sixteen party and wedding in social importance. I also realize that they likely subconsciously realize that this is a big cost to us and want to assuage their guilt by framing it as a gift and glossing over the non-gift parts. This is all very human of them, so I know I can get past it. And ultimately, I’m going on the trip for my husband—not them. My husband is a good guy, and I know he’d feel terribly if I didn’t go.

Thanks for letting me vent. [/quote]

Yes, that's what this board is for. Gotta say I appreciate how my DH has always been game for anything with my family, even when stressful. We spent one Christmas break in a series of family meetings with my siblings, trying to figure out the next steps with our mom. DH was under a lot of pressure, so I was very grateful that he didn't once express the slightest resentment that the little time he had for a break was not spent on anything enjoyable. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics