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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is what I had to remind myself. We all know we are going to get old. By middle age many of us have seen many permutations of what aging can look like from grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends' loved ones and we've heard the stories. Then we deal with our own parents. We can choose to bury our heads in the sand and we could end up in dire straits because of it. Or we can plan for ourselves and move to appropriate places in say our 60s. My own parents were conveniently too "busy" to visit their own parents much and all those they had buckets of money they refused to engage in conversations about planning beyond demanding they stay in their own home. They refused to explore what that really looks like. Everyone in their lives went into assisted living/memory care/nursing. You could not explain to them friends will move away, hired help won't always show and we may have to hire a stranger to live with them when they are no longer capable at all. Those conversations ended with screaming fits. Then life happens and there they are with a caregiver they abuse verbally who quits, family setting boundaries, a social worker they yell at and friends have stopped returning their calls. They had decades of retirement to explore things, but were too busy traveling, guilt tripping their kids and shopping to care.[/quote]

BINGO!

My aunt is pissed at me because after being accused AGAIN by the incompetent hospice nurse (who didn’t look at the medicine chart I put on the wall for her convenience stating what meds were given and when, and thus gave my aunt a narcotic too early)  of mishandling narcotics, I stated I would NOT be legal medical power of attorney. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be sued by a hospice agency who’s own nurses are not competent.

This is after refusing to call in the best hospice in the area. I had them visit today for a second opinion and they were appalled at both what they saw regarding pain management for my aunt (no consistency, too many different narcotics, etc) as well as the accusations I was facing. Of course my aunt didn’t  really understand much of what the nurse was saying due to the level of different narcotics in her system and it was all MY fault (I was trying to put her in a home, etc)

My husband: “You didn’t sign up for this. You’ve been kind. You’ve tried. And now you are being accused of narcotics abuse? Get out.”

I plan to hire in an aide for my aunt and get out[/quote]

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