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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, PP, the husband doesn’t know he is an adoptee until OP would tell him. So let’s talk about the mental health implications of blowing up his life in that vein. [/quote]

Adoptee here. I can assure you, the adoption literature shows precisely the opposite. You assume he will never find out. That is not what happens. There are literally Facebook groups full of late-discovery people who learned the wrong way that their parents aren't who they thought they were. Go check some of those out and see what happens.

When he does find out and learns everyone in his life has been lying to him, the consequences will be lifelong.[/quote]

He’s not adopted. He was raised by his biological mother and step-father, in a family with half siblings. This is not the same beast at all as a child who was unexpectedly pulled from their family and put into another one.

[/quote]

Adoptee here. I know. It's worse. I should specify, that the late-discovery groups include people who learned late because they were adopted, because parents used donor gametes, and because one parent was not disclosed as not being a biological parent. The feelings and outcomes share a remarkable level of overlap, especially on the question of how people respond to being lied to their whole lives.[/quote]

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