Reply to Job offer overseas vs 50% child custody

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi all, 
This is OP.  I was surprised to see so many more replies. Some even sound like it was me who replied.
Some clarifications - this was indeed a hypothetical question; our marriage is falling apart, so I’m researching this question.  
This discussion was helpful - thanks for your diverse perspectives and sharing your experiences or what you know.
Kids are in elementary and overseas exposure is an opportunity to pick up at least one foreign language and travel around and expand outlook.
DH makes me feel we are a burden…  he does some pickups and drop offs but generally, we are not a source of his happiness and joy.  I could not make him happy… to me he is still a bachelor mentality who tries to fit in and look like a father but he can’t… it’s just not his thing… my heart hurts for my kids…

I’m not sure what is going to happen but I will try to talk and get his agreement for more custody on my end - we are yet to have mediator appointment and hammer out in house separation agreement … get his ok in writing maybe that he does not object that I leave with kids in case of a job offer.

You know, after so much verbal abuse and neglect, I do not think staying married is an option.  “You better be alone rather than with whoever.”

This person blamed me that I spent too much money on my father’s funeral overseas because I flew out for the funeral. This person has no heart.

[/quote]

If you want a divorce, get one.  You can get an apartment/house nearby and share custody.  That is in the kids best interests.   But, you don't need to move to the other side of the world as an excuse.  If you want to go, go.  But, clearly Dad is involved and has a relationship with the kids and you will hurt your kids by severing that relationship.

There is zero reason your kids cannot learn a foreign language living here.  There is zero reason you cannot travel living here.  Those excuses don't TRUMP losing a relationship with their Dad.

How do you think your kids will feel moving to a foreign country where they don't speak the language?  Are you going to pay for an American school?  What would your custody agreement be?  Would you give Dad all summer (then how would you travel)?  Holidays?  Who pays for the plane tickets?  Who flies back and forth with the kids?

We don't know your full situation but maybe you couldn't afford the trip and maybe your finances are an issue?  Maybe you could work on your finances or address the issues in your marriage.  It takes two to fix a marriage.  If you don't want to, leave.  If you want to fix the marriage, you have to be part of the solution.  He sounds like he tries and you minimize what he does do.[/quote]

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