Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Making SAHM get job to pay for private school"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I work in a public school. Absolutely get your kids into a good private school if you can. A lot of what I see horrifies me.

Also, consider how your wife getting a job will impact your career. Are you prepared to handle half of the pickups and drop offs? Half of the housework? Half of the childcare? What if she has to work weekends? Think about the impact this will have on your career. It likely makes more sense for her to remain a SAHM, rather than you taking over half of the duties and taking a career hit over $30k (6% of your salary). [/quote]

His kids are teens - there is no “childcare.” [/quote]

What are you talking about? There’s driving them to/from school, to activities, helping with homework, keeping on top of their schoolwork and with things the school needs (like paperwork, deadlines, etc), staying home with them when they’re sick, being able to leave work at a moments notice to get them, cooking dinner for the family, buying supplies, plus just spending time with your kids so they’re not alone and getting into trouble.

And that’s not even considering household responsibilities OP probably doesn’t do, like grocery shopping, cleaning, handling repairs, bills, paperwork, etc. He would have to take over half of that, too, so his evenings will be spent cooking, cleaning, handling logistics, etc. [/quote]

Looks like a SAHM of teens has found this thread![/quote]

Nice try. But I’m a single mom who works full time. That’s how I know what the real value of a wife is - I would love to have someone who didn’t work and could handle all the household tasks. Sounds amazing to come home to a clean house and home cooked meal. [/quote]

I hear you but please know that it can be single mothers who are the most sexist at times. You realize "wives" in 2 couple families are not all doing what you assume?[/quote]

Not totally sure what you mean by that. I was a SAHM. Most of my friends are SAHMs. I know that for the most part, SAHMs (and SAHDs) do almost all the at home labor. This then frees up the working partner to advance their career. Never met a couple where the working parent does half or more of the at home labor (although I've met many who *think* they do and have no idea how much their SAH spouse does).

Of course things are divided differently when both parents work, although data is pretty clear that wives still do the bulk of home and childcare, even if they work full time.

Point is, if OP wants his wife to work, he needs to take a close look at how that will impact his career. When I was a SAHM, my xH wanted me to work. So I got a job. Then he freaked out because he was suddenly responsible for half of the pickups/dropoffs, half of dinners, getting DC ready in the morning, handling school things, etc. And he didn't have time for the things he enjoyed like working out. Even got upset he couldn't use the company car anymore (no kids allowed in it). But you don't get to have your cake and eat it, too - you don't get the benefits of a working wife AND a SAHM. [/quote]

What I mean is that you seem to assume that wives are the ones who do household work. So, so many single mothers assume I am a SAHM. I am not. Not all wives are SAHMs. In fact, even though I am a woman, I am not the one to do more of the duties, we share. So, please don't make assumptions about me and my husband based on our genders.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics