Reply to Of the people you know who have had affairs, is there a common them.

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Reply to "Of the people you know who have had affairs, is there a common them."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] You know, I always thought this was the case for most people until I got involved with someone (nevermind why for now) and he made hardly any effort to hide it. I was meticulous. He had an emotionally smart wife who asked him point blank if he was having an affair and he admitted it. However he didn’t crumble or stop. He said it was something he needed, he even went a little crazy and had us be in the same place at the same time with our spouses, had me in his house, met his young kids (not as a love interest obviously), really put me in his real life and showed me what was important to him. I don’t know what he told her, probably that he couldn’t stop and had to get it out of his system. She asked if he loved me and he said yes. But he wouldn’t leave her. He carried this on with both of us for several years. I was never discovered but eventually divorced. He on the other hand was able to return to his wife because he hadn’t left, didn’t stop parenting or providing and hadn’t lied to her. In reality he did lie to her about being in touch with me afterwards but she never knew that. So basically my life was wrecked and his continued, as is so often the case for women.[/quote]

You write as if he has all the control here over your actions and decisions.  You have/had agency, and your willingness to go along with the horrible ways he flaunted his affair with you says a lot about you, not just him.  You were both incredibly cruel and it sounds like you need therapy to learn how to own what you did and why it’s not ok.[/quote]

+100

She is in the 'he's bad, she's not' mindset I see with so many women cheaters.[/quote]

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