Reply to My DD has been stealing at school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is she an only child? Theft is a denial of ownership. Most kids learn this early if they have siblings. At home, I would start defining clear property boundaries. Ask for permission to play with her doll, make her ask for permission to play with mama‘s makeup brushes. She needs to understand that she may not touch other people’s things without their consent. [/quote]

I was an only child and I guarantee you that most only children understand the concept of ownership by the time they start school. If anything, they are probably more particular about it because they haven’t had to share as much. In this case, OPs daughter wssn’t confused about boundaries.  If she had been, she would have just grabbed the objectd and been confused when the owner protested.  OPs daughter was fully aware she wasn’t supposed to touch things without consent which is why she plotted to do so in secret and why she returned an item when she feared discovery. [/quote]

[b]aaaaand, why she continued with her scheming plot of going to the bathroom right before lunch.

She saw how easy it was the first time and kept on keeping on -- that's the part that would really make me nervous if I were you, OP.

She kept it up and each time it probably got easier & easier... like muscle memory.

To steal all of those items from the onef classroom is REALLY brazen, and it sounds like she didn't have any sympathy for the crying owners, remorse anytime after she'd done it, or a single concern in the world.

In fact, the ONLY time your daughter expressed any type of distress, was when she became despondent at the thought that she may get in trouble with you/the principal.

The lack of empathy for her upset classmates (some of those kids HAD to be her friends, or kids she purposefully eats her lunch with every day) and the fact that she only showed a shred of emotion because she was concerned for her own well being, is the part that's most alarming & unsettling for me.

If she hadn't been caught, the stealing wouldn't have stopped, she would have become more and more confident in her technique and ampedup what she took.[/b]

[/quote]

This is exactly how I read it too!
She didn't cry until caught, and the tears weren't tears of guilt or sympathy, they were tears to protect herself.

Your child is manipulative and untrustworthy... I'd seek advice from the school guidance counselor if they think therapy is warranted, but you MUST have a punishment at home for her. 
This will set the tone and her actions for the rest of her childhood. 
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