Reply to Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?

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Reply to "Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Huh, I have probably done something similar dozens of times, and the same with my friends. I guess I’m in the wrong, but it seems weird to me to bring something and leave it there, unless it’s like a hostess gift. Now I know better! Take pity on your friends who don’t know any better, I don’t remember going to any dinner parties with my parents, just informal backyard BBQs and we definitely brought back whatever was left in the casserole dish. [/quote]

Same.  I didn't know it was rude, so I'm learning.  Typically the events/meals we go to are more of a potluck, with the hostess providing a main dish and others bringing sides/beverages (BYOB), so maybe that's different than being invited over for a dinner?  Everyone takes home the leftovers of their dish and their beverages.

At the end of our big family meals like Thanksgiving, everyone makes to go containers of various foods.[/quote]

^This is the distinction--if it's a potluck, you can assume the leftovers are for everyone and you can take your item back with you if it wasn't eaten. The OP indicated that it was a planned meal and the guest offered to bring dessert. In that case, the dessert would have typically been a gift to the host.[/quote]

PP, honestly, thank you so much for this framing. It really helps to understand.

I wasn't raised with dinner parties. It was always people coming to our place for a holiday meal (and I didn't notice growing up who took what at the end), or it was university group potlucks, or the potlucks where I am now (a lot of people living in a remote area together that do block party sort of potlucks).

I very rarely go to dinners now. I was invited over Thanksgiving to a co-worker's place, along with two others, and I brought a lot --the main dish, an appetizer, a desert, and a homemade bread. I helped pack things up for the fridge after, and because of this thread I just offered to take anything she didn't have room for (tiny apartment) but ended up leaving it all.

Honestly, I'd rather leave it! I don't want to work my way through yet more leftovers. But now that I can see it is a gift (not a potluck), it helps me so much. I'm much easier with it. I know now I was already supposed to know this, but it would have felt like a burden to leave things otherwise.

Thank you, PP! And thank you, DCUM! I will remember and be entirely proper about it from here on out. [/quote]

There is nothing "proper" about the advice you're being given.  It was completely "proper" that the person who brought the pie took the remnants home.

Please don't listen to this foolish guidance that you are being improper.  It is not a gift to leave the remnants for your host.  A true hostess gift is something else, like a bottle of wine or coasters or dish towels or something.  A true hostess gift is not 2 slices of pie.  Sheesh.

[b]Didn't your mom ever tell you not to believe everything you read on the internet?  [/b]Just because there is one person validating this thread repeatedly doesn't mean it is true.

DP.[/quote]

:shock:

:lol:  Speaking of what parents did (or didn't) teach you regarding politeness ... probably worth some remediation there, PP.[/quote]

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