Reply to Husband Said I’m Too Strict With Baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, that baby is going to change his own schedule soon enough. You will learn that just as you think you find what you baby likes, they become a whole new baby. A lot of it has to do with your baby’s natural disposition and not as much of your choices as you think. That’s why you will see a lot of response on this forum calling people out as first time parents when they talk about how they did this magic thing that made their baby a good sleeper/eater/whatever. Then we learn that when we do the exact same thing with another kid, it has no effect at all.

Let dad play with his baby. [/quote]

OP here. I’m aware of that and said his schedule will change again soon. The biggest thing is now I know his wake times and his cues and I can put him to sleep at appropriate times so he doesn't why overtired.

[b]My husband doesn’t do well with lots of crying. If he keeps him up and he starts crying, I will have to take over and calm him down. [/b]

It’s his baby too, but I’m the one that spends most of my time with him. I think I should be able to do what is best for him and myself to make our days run smoothly. [/quote]

Your husband needs to be able to deal with the baby crying. He needs to know that you will not take over because he is a parent to and he can deal with it. In the beginning when you didn’t know what to do when the baby cried you figured it out because you had to. He needs to do the same thing. If you think that he will abuse or hurt the baby physically then you need to start documenting signs of abuse to prepare for a custody battle. But if you are just concerned that your husband will freak out and complain and not take good care of The baby because he’s too stressed out, then you need to let them figure it out. Otherwise he will never be a parent to your child he will always be the babysitter.[/quote]

OP here. No. My husband would never abuse our son or anything liked that. I’m not worried to leave him alone - he has been alone with him for hours and one time for overnight when he was younger. He can handle him if he needs to, but he will be like “ I don’t know why he’s crying” and hand him off because he knows I can comfort nurse him and calm him down. I do it because I don’t like hearing him cry and I don’t want to put stress on his body by letting him cry.

He does care for him during the week after work with his fussy period and putting him down for bed. He is also very involved and there on the weekends and does spend most of the time with him. I think it’s just easier for him to hand him over to me because I can easily settle him. My husband is a very loving and gentle man. No way would he hurt our son.

I do need to get better with leaving him with the baby without taking him when he cries. He has worked out the baby being fussy many times, and will take the baby if I absolutely need a break ( when he was younger) and he was able to finally clam him down. I think I causing the issue and giving him a built in excuse. I will start doing more trips and letting him handle it. [/quote]

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