Reply to Why do so many of us have issues with our ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree "forced relationship" is factor

Want to add "parental proxy"

I am disappointed in my own parents, then I think I felt even more disappointed by my MIL in particular. I don't know that I expected her to be things my own mom was not, but I  think maybe I was angry she was not?

My ILs are actually wonderful. Generous. Respect boundaries. I am lucky.

My issues have been so petty. Like, they wanted me to call them Mom and Dad but I will NOT. I gained them as a late 30s adult and there is no way that they are my mom and dad, and it annoys me that they would expect it. But they have not pressed it at all!! So what's my problem?

Another factor is just "being the wife"

People here always like, let your DH handle his own parents! I appreciate that, but in my reality, I manage the relationships, or they are not managed, and resent it. And I try to do , but the ILs are texting me when they need info  and looking at me when they did not get acknowledgment of a gift, and etc.

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