Reply to Why do so many of us have issues with our ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Forced relationships with people we would never be interested in knowing or hanging out with. Luck of the draw.[/quote]

But isn't this true of blood family?  And coworkers? And parents of kids' friends?

I agree that the forced closeness of it contributes.  But it still seems like we are very much predisposed to let our ILs bother us more than most other people in our lives..[/quote]

I have far more blood relatives who drive me crazy than in laws who do. In fact, truth be told, I would much rather spend time with my MIL than my mother. I like my mother but she can be difficult (not mean, just a little neurotic). MIL is so much more chill.

I don't think the majority of people have issues with their in-laws--I think it's just the vocal majority here. Plenty of people post about issues in their own families as well, not just in-laws.

I get that you can't choose your in-laws but you can choose not to marry someone because of the family. Dating is one thing but I think you have to consider the whole package when you marry someone, both the good and the bad. My grandmother had a disability that required a lot of attention and financial support from my parents and my dad knew this going into the marriage. But they did discuss it and my mother told him that if he wasn't up for it, she understood. And my father never, ever complained about helping her but it definitely did put a strain on their marriage. Not saying this is the same as a MIL just being annoying or overbearing but the point is, it's important to consider the family as well as the spouse when you are talking about a lifetime commitment. Saying you didn't get to choose your in-laws is not 100% accurate.[/quote]

My MIL was awkward but harmless while we were dating. She was excited when we were planning our wedding. Literally the wedding weekend, something inside her flipped to THREAT LEVEL 10. We’ve never fully recovered and it’s been 12 years. I dated my DH for 4 years before that. He was just as confused as I was. I don’t think she realized her son getting married meant she’d have to share him with my family. And she just lost it and became an insecure bean counter who was unhappy no matter what. So how we spend less time with her. [/quote]

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