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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - have you ever just sat down with your in-laws and express to them how important their role is, expressed very concretely what you would like them do and finally made them feel like you want them around?

Please be honest and upfront.  People cannot your mind, and if their experiences growing up were different than yours OR if they've seen a bunch of comments about overbearing grandparents/in-laws, they may not know what you want.

And even if you think they do know what you want, keep expressing your wishes and give them a chance to grow into the role, even at this late date.  [/quote]

Don’t do this. 
I did this with my MIL and she walked away with the message “you think I’m a bad grandmother” and told everyone else in the family that’s what I said. It was incredibly hurtful, especially when I was coming from such a vulnerable place, and my in law
Relationships have yet to recover. [/quote]

I’m sorry, your MIL sucks. She sounds like my mother. [/quote]

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