Reply to How would you feel about this MIL taking over kitchen thing? Am I being petty?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She's a guest in your house and should be free to do as she pleases and make herself at home. You are being controlled.[/quote]

Wtf? Maybe for a day but not one week. No, it’s not your house, you’re a guest. Which means you ask before you use something and you clean up after yourself all the time. [/quote]

“Make yourself at home” is what people say to be kind and welcoming. It is not to be taken literally. Clean up after yourself to your host’s standards, replace items you use up immediately, ask to use things, be considerate of their space. You can’t actually treat someone else’s home like your own and leave dishes in the sink when you feel lazy, lounge on the couch all day watching tv with a snack plate etc. [/quote]

You are WRONG! This is her MOTHER in law. Does OP want to have a family or not? She should feel lucky she feels so comfortable in her home. She should be grateful to have a MIL who wants to help out. SO what if it's mesy. OP can clean up or her DH can clean up. OP is being too controlling here. She needs to lighten up and enjoy her MIL and let her DH enjoy hs mother.[/quote]

H can enjoy his mother in the family room while she leaves the kitchen alone. Not her house. She’s a guest. Sit down and enjoy the meals your host prepares. Maybe offer to take your hosts out once while you visit. Invading the kitchen, using everything in it, making a mess, and insisting you are breaking in the new kitchen is not your domain as a guest. [/quote]

As a guest you are completely right, a normal guest would understand completely this is not their domain.  A normal guest would understand this is rude. We are talking about a MIL here.  They do not and choose not to understand.  Which is why people say to pick your battles.  Its annoying yes but if MIL wants to cook a few meals meh so what, let her.  Time for a glass of wine and netflix.  Kitchens dirty, I guess ask her to clean her mess or get DH to do it.

Wait until this OP's MIL does what my MIL did, which was to completely re-arrange the entire kitchen to suit how she believed a kitchen should be sorted.  Moved all the plates, pots, pans everything.  Threw away counter top decorations and put her own up and then re-arranged all the furniture in the dining room to what suited her.  MIL making some meals and making silly little comments about breaking in the new kitchen in some weird competitive little dance.  Oh let it go.  Let her dance alone with that pettiness, it really means nothing.

Keep in mind if OP cooked all the meals would OP still expect to clean by herself or would she expect her guest/DH to help.  I guess if people expect that they cook others clean then a little bit of help would be expected to clean up.  However if this MIL makes a real mess I think asking her to help would be reasonable.[/quote]

Ok, we need to hear more about this insanity. Your MIL threw out your stuff, put up her own stuff, and rearranged two rooms in your home?!? What happened when you discovered this? How did your spouse handle it? What fallout from it was there? How old were you and how old your MIL? Any cumtural issues to help explain this? This is so bizarre to me I can’t even. [/quote]

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