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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.[/quote]

If this was true, no educated moms would stay home.  Gimme a break.  Do you believe that all my household chores, all the shopping, cooking, laundry, repairs, bills, homework just do themselves while women go to the office?  Like a little leprechaun or angel appears magically to do it?[/quote]

The point is what is owed to a spouse for staying home. The spouse receives 50% of whatever capital was accumulated during the marriage. They also received all rent, food, expenses, etc. while in the marriage. So the grounds for spousal support would be 1) they gave up time they could have used for job training, 2) they need time to recoup their footing in their career, etc.? That makes sense. On the other hand how do you take into account the case of a spouse who gets the time for training and a career and opts not to use it?  [/quote]

Sorry my dear, but if you are college educated or have a grad degree, and no medical issues or kids with special needs, choosing to be unemployed is not giving up anything.  It's simply not feeling like working and having the privilege to do that.  [/quote]

Righ as it’s far better to pay a stranger to raise your kids or let them raise themselves.  [/quote]

Strangers are raising your children starting at 5 years old; kindergarten is 9 am to 4 pm. 
My MIL is in MD, barely worked from time to time, my FIL got his mistress now wife pregnant and my MIL received alimony for 10 years.  They were married for 25 years. [/quote]

Big difference between school and other times.  [/quote]

Ok, so for families with typical children, the SAHP should rejoin the workforce when the youngest is 5 years old. [/quote]

Sure, as long as the working parent is prepared to be the one to take leave to accommodate schools breaks/teacher work days/sick days etc and flex their hours as needed to accommodate school pick ups and extracurriculars since the former SAHP will likely have limited leave and need to prove themselves as a new employee. Funnily it never seems to work like that and the former SAHP is expected to continue to be the default parent while attempting to rebuild/start a new career from scratch.[/quote]

You are making it a bigger deal than it is; there are not that many school breaks and the school and the camps are open. We raised two boys - one is in med school now, the other one on his way to a great school too - and we were able to maintain two successful and fulfilling careers while the kids also played rec and travel baseball. You can have a great, well paid career with a flex schedule, as long as you have a lucrative skill and/or are highly educated. I'm a fed at a financial agency with a lot of flexibility. My friend tutors for MCAT and makes $500/hour. Another one is a pediatrician with 4 kids and makes a decent living WFH doing research for an insurance company and her H is a hands on dad and ER doctor who works 2 days/week. My H is a VP for an international company and he did all the sports, including coaching. Nobody should be the default parent, both parents need to be involved in raising the kids.  There is solid research out there that having a SAHM significantly decreases a girl's future income and career potential and boys raised by working moms are more involved in raising their children.  
Of course, if one has a special needs child, the story is completely different, although I would still make the pro-work argument, as the expenses related to raising a special needs child are enormous and the care in US is terrible. [/quote]

That's great you are a high earner.  Not everyone is.  I was in the helping profession and earned $65K a year.  After taxes and child care, it didn't pay for me to work.  Top that off with a SN child who needed daily therapies and then a MIL who needed full-time care (who had no money), I couldn't afford to work.  And, now I have my own health issues.  You are talking about high earners who are doctors, VP's, high level feds and other high paying jobs.  That's not realistic for all of us.  At best, if I went back to work, I'd have to start all over again and at best make $40-50K.  And, then take out child care, taxes and other expenses and I might bring home a few hundred a month.[/quote]

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