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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Run and get a lawyer NOW. 
Pull out 1/2 of what’s in joint accounts. Take him off joint credit cards. 
If joint money has been paying the mortgage and you obviously have kids together, you have some recourse.

Also, get a private detective. I would bet money he’s cheating. 
Even if VA splits 50/50- sometimes the judge will give more to one party.
Get your financial records. Any thing he spends for an affair, circle it to get back. [/quote]

I hope anyone reading your post understands that doing most of these things will put you in hot water with the judge and actually hurt you.

Without question, the thing to do is to leave all combined assets alone and then each of you will get permission to use marital assets to pay your lawyers.  If you remove martial assets, the judge will see that as an attempt to thwart the process, even if DH is a jackass[/quote]

You’re incorrect. 
You can take 12 months of funds and freeze all assets asap.

Op should have him move out, continue to be primary/default parent, interview and consult with 2-3 lawyers and pick one, file for separation + temp custody (kids visit him every other weekend) + start splitting the assets 50/50 (so get all account info yesterday to lawyer). [/quote]

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