Reply to Could you forgive a one time misstep by your husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very strange that he told you about it if it were a one time make out thing. Really no reason to confess unless there was someone who saw it and could potentially tell you. Maybe he wants to continue and feels guilty so he decided to confess thinking it will help him to stop? There’s something behind his confession a reason that he is not telling you. [/quote]

As backwards as it sounds, [b]if this was really a one time thing that didn’t escalate into sex, it’s cruel to tell you about it. Esp considering that you were home, pregnant, with two of his children[/b]. That’s so so hurtful. There is no reason to tell you. It brings you so much pain. I see no benefit. For you at least. For him, I’m assuming there was some small benefit? Other people saw it and threatened to tell? The AP got mad?

If there’s a long history with this woman, do you want to know? Will that help or make things worse? There are ways to get more info… but if your goal is to save your marriage, probably best not to dig too deep. [/quote]

Yeah...this is what makes me think it was more than making out. A decent guy doesn't decide to torture his pregnant wife and potentially blow up his life because of some tonsil hockey. We're all grown ass adults here. Making out is stupid, but you move the F on from that. Sex? Nah, there's consequences there.

He likely told you to 1. Unburden himself, 2. Hold himself accountable so it won't happen again, or will stop if it's been happening.

This doesn't mean your H is a terrible guy, or a worse guy than most. Because a lot of men do this and they're not all dogs. But most are weak. Sucks but it's true. That pedestal you had your husband on just evaporated.

Sorry OP. Really wishing you the best. You guys can come back from this. Welcome to being the strong one in your marriage. That's most of us.[/quote]

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