Reply to Would you drive 5 hours for a baby shower?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the purpose were actually to celebrate OP, the shower would be held at a time and place convenient for her. This shower is clearly for the convenience of the host. I despise highway driving under the best of circumstances and would certainly not drive 10 hours for this. That seems insane to me. If they want to celebrate there, they should plan a sip and see around a full visit.[/quote]

Do you really think the person who won't come in for a baby shower will get more relaxed about this sort of visit after the baby is born?

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Relaxed about what? Presumably they visit OP's ILs from time to time. My point is that an event should be planned around an existing visit. That's what my ILs in NY did. Planning to drive for ten hours for a baby shower is deranged.[/quote]
So now OP and husband can plan a visit around the weekend that the shower is being held.[/quote]

I wouldn't travel that far by car for just a weekend. When we go visit my ILs by car, we go for a week. If DH or I need to make a work trip or something, we fly or take the train. I am particularly not into the idea of doing this for a shower. In my experience, showers are almost always desired only by the person hosting and not by the honoree. Everyone I know had kids in their 30s and didn't need financial help, but had showers forced on them by older relatives who for some reason love the idea. Having a baby is a great time to start establishing boundaries with extended family.[/quote]

That’s really sad.

Happy, loving families enjoy family celebrations such as baby showers.

Happily married couples value each others family. 
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How is making arrangements that are MUTUALLY convenient and enjoyable inconsistent with valuing family?[/quote]

Wonder how many of these guilt tripping posters are 60 year old MILs who have pulled the shower stunt themselves. I would be ashamed to ask a pregnant woman carrying my grandkid to put in 10 highway hours and travel during covid because I was too lazy to drive, personally. [/quote]

It's not for the in laws. It's for the extended family.

You will be happier if you stop looking at these things as who owes what. The in laws want to throw a shower with the extended family and their local friends. This is very normal.[/quote]

^ It may be normal but it's also unnecessary and inconvenient for the mother to be. The relatives need to adjust their expectations. They can do a shower via Zoom and send their presents or they can travel here to the mother or they can wait until after baby is born and have it be a "new baby" party! Plenty of other viable options.

I mean 10 hours is a long trip for a diaper Diaper Genie, Ritz casserole, and a game of measuring the belly. :roll: [/quote]

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