Reply to Wife backing out on having kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are both 33. Agreement before marriage was at least one child and planned to start trying at 30. I’m a CRNA with an option (and expressed willingness) to take on reduced hours. Her parents are in the area and would be over the moon to help. I’ve always been attracted to how career oriented she is but now it’s just plain frustrating. I’m on the hook because she’s not saying she doesn’t want children, just not now. We both know we don’t have much more time. Last time I brought it up, it ended in a huge argument and she ended up sleeping in one of the guest rooms for a few days. Her solution was freezing her eggs and revisiting this topic again later. That’s not a solution to me. That’s prolonging the current cycle that I’ve been in for 2 years. We honestly don’t argue much at all but this topic shuts her down completely. [/quote]
Without knowing either of you, my guess would be that she is afraid of change and adding more stress into what is already a very stressful schedule. She may feel that she would not be able to continue to do all that she currently does for her job. My suggestion would be to have a definite game plan of what would happen after the baby is born. You said you can work reduced hours. Have a plan for who would watch the baby while you're working the reduced hours. Formulate a plan for paternity leave. Offer to be the one to interview potential nannies, if you go that route, or visit the potential daycares. Research a sitter for weekends, etc. Have a definite game plan for various scenarios. Having a child is a huge lifestyle change and commitment, and she may be overwhelmed by all of the potential "what ifs."[/quote]

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