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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad had a disinterested single mom. Not an absusive one, just very hands-off and clearly didn’t care too much for her (6) kids. Aside from royally screwing him up (he still has depression/familial issues), she died alone last year in her house - wasn’t found for over six weeks and that was by the mailman. Your fun friends won’t be the ones cleaning your bedpan in 40 years.

Make your bed and know you’ll lie in it when your time has come. [/quote]

Sorry but even if your MIL was the opposite, I dont think your husband or any of her children would be cleaning her bedpan either. You're projecting that because she was A, B happened. [/quote]

I just watched my grandparents - very dearly loved - die within months of each other. Their kids and grandkids rallied to help with whatever they needed in order to keep them out of hospice. Some of the grandkids hadn’t been seriously in touch for years but when push came to shove they were there. Not out of guilt or obedience but love. That’s what family is. The good, bad and ugly. I really hope everyone gets to experience that, though you only get what you give. OP’s choices are more damaging than what meets the eye. [/quote]

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