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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I am on inpatient service this week (so very busy… what else is new) but have been periodically checking on the thread - it’s an excellent activity while waiting for the elevator!

Thank you all so, so much for weighing in - I appreciate everyone’s perspectives (including those of SAHM and doctors spouses!) and thoughtful commentary. I guess my best bet is to try just to let it go and try not to discuss too much about my life with my mom - just stick to the weather. People had some good thoughts about why she’d be so nasty (getting old & losing the filter between her brain and her mouth, worried that I won’t take care of her when she is old, etc), which was helpful.

Also, I feel less alone - though I’m sorry that others have to deal with this crap, too. Usually I can take it in stride, but when stressors pile up, the judgmental maternal commentary puts me over the edge.

You are all the best! Thank you!
(Also, thank you for the positive words about my parental abilities, but I am not a great mom… I’m an OK mom. I get the job done, but often not in style. For instance, my kids are on their way to using the same Halloween costumes for the 4th year in a row - but they are old enough to figure something out if they wanted, so I am going to let that one go, too!)[/quote]

Here is the thing, being an “ok” mom is just fine and can also be amazing. I work a ton and don’t give a crap about a lot of kid things. I consider my parenting style more “paternal” than “maternal.” My kid knows I’m not like many other moms, but she still thinks I’m awesome. My kid was in an activity that included vests where you were supposed to see badges on. I sewed them on in the wrong place. We were driving to the event and she was like “umm, these are in the wrong place.” I tell her no one will care. And she was like “mommy, other moms do care about this, but you are not like them.” It made me laugh that she had me figured out so well at age 7. I don’t do the Pinterest crap, etc. But I deeply engage when I can on things we both love. And she is learning not to care what other people think, which is a good life lesson that many women could use more of. She is proud of me and feels very loved. That is what matters. I’m sure there will be a teen phase where she hates me, but I fully believe that as an adult, she will love me and believe I did a great job with my “ok” parenting.[/quote]

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