Reply to How do some people luck out with great adult kids and others have kids who abandon them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents were wonderful.  They would give up anything for any one of us and treated all 3 of us fairly, no favorites.  They cultivated family traditions and we always had such fun at holidays, etc.

Yes, there were fights, siblings bugging each other, etc., but there was great humor about all of it and no doubt our parents loved us unconditionally and were always there.

We all were there with my dad when he was fighting cancer for 1.5 years.  The man hated doctors/hospitals, etc. and over that entire time he never spent a night alone in the hospital.  We helped my mom get through it.  And, during that time, they both kept thinking of us--not themselves. Kept worrying about us.

We had a fantastic childhood because of them.

My husband's father was awful drunk, cheater, nobody but my husband was there at the end.  He ended up completely alone.  His mother has a very public image as such a wonderful, cheerful woman to the public/outside the family, but she was an awful, selfish mother.  Her two kids never came first.  My husband basically raised himself.  Now in old age she wants to show up like she was mother theresa.  It's exactly like the song 'Cats in the Cradle'.  When our kids were small, she never made time to see them.  My husband would ask for her to visit, offer to visit and even pay for her ticket---but her group of girlfriends always took precedence--or his deadbeat brother who she coddled.  Last weekend, she got a ride down and showed up unannounced on a very busy weekend for the family--and then couldn't understand why everyone couldn't drop everything so she could just see her boys (my sons now in HS).  She is delusional.

So--with these 2 scenarios you can see why my siblings and I wanted to really celebrate my dad's life and thank him for everything, etc...while in my spouse's case it's difficult to stomach.[/quote]

Another pp mentioned this "They never nagged me to get married, or to have kids." Also, true of my parents they accepted who all of us were and wanted us to live our lives, not for them.  As teens/kids, stern when they needed to be but you always felt loved.  They were always on the sidelines of our games (or in my dad's case--coached us for years too).  As we became adults, the relationship turned more into good friends.  [/quote]

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