Reply to Incapable and Defensive Spouse

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Incapable and Defensive Spouse"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course he’s going to get defensive. You describe him as “incapable” and there’s no way that doesn’t come through. [b]Even if you’re just pointing out the mistakes he made (i.e. “you got regular coffee instead of decaf and nobody drinks decaf”) [/b]he picks up on your low opinion of him.[/quote]

NP. So what’s the solution? (Similar things have happened in my house.)

If I don’t point out the difference between what I asked for and what he purchased, he won’t know to look for it next time. It’s not about blaming him for his past mistake, it’s just about preventing the same mistake going forward. But my spouse takes everything I say so negatively, like OP’s spouse. I’ve been reading about rejection sensitive dysphoria, which sometimes occurs with ADD. I think it may be that. [/quote]

Solution: you do the grocery shopping. If you’re unable to or it’s just not feasible with your schedule, order online and have him pick it up. You don’t want to tip the scales too much one way and start taking over the tasks you agreed to split, though, so find a compromise that works for you. It could be him taking over a task that you normally do. Whatever you do, though, don’t add more to your list and subtract from his. Aside from overextending yourself, you’ll also be enabling him if you do this.. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics