Reply to Tell me about your spouse’s limerent affair…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've only seen this word limerance on dcum, and I don't understand its usage.  (Or maybe l do lol.)  It seems like the cheated-upon use it to downplay the severity of their spouse's affair.  Or someone who wants to get over someone tells herself her feelings aren't real, they're just limerance.  As if it's a clinical condition with no basis in real emotions.

IMO, limerance is another word for crush...and ALL romantic relationships start with a crush.  So why differentiate, OP?  Either their relationship will stand the test of time or it won't, but it is a relationship, and your partner is choosing to have that relationship with someone else.  That is all that matters.[/quote]

No, limerence describes a state of mind during a set of actions — so it’s more than a crush. A crush is “oh, I think the pool boy is hot and maybe I will daydream of becoming Mrs. Pool Boy.”

Limerence is going out of your way to try to seduce the pool boy, who is returning the interest on some way. It’s carrying on in that manner with no regard for your actual life responsibilities, believing you won’t get caught, engaging in revisionist history about your existing relationship to create unfavorable comparisons with the pool boy. It’s infatuation plus some kind of action and usually there is reciprocation of some sort, even if not physical.[/quote]

Well yeah.  So in other words its the beginning stages of a relationship.  Which is what I was saying.  It shouldn't be brushed away as "just" limerance.[/quote]

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